Writing Tips: Tuning in to Local Dialect (Gail Kittleson)

(A writing tips post)

Gail Kittleson

Lost in the gorgeous musical score of Saving Private Ryan, I sailed into our little town after attending our country church. I stopped for appropriate stop signs, looked both ways, and continued into our alley and then the garage.

Getting out of the car, I glanced up to see our local police deputy had pulled in behind me and stood with arms akimbo. I hadn’t noticed anyone following me at all.

I took a few steps his way. “What did I do?”

“You never slowed down.”

“Never...but I stopped at the stop signs.”

“I’ve had my lights on from the highway, and you never slowed down. That one family has little kids, so I think they’d appreciate it if you took it a little slower next time.”

“Um...OK.”

He’s a friendly man, and kind. His daughter plays with my granddaughter, and we often see him at softball games.

As the week passed, I pondered his words: You never slowed down. About midweek, it dawned on me what he had meant.

I’m pretty sure he meant, “You didn’t slow down at the 45 mph sign just north of town.”

That had to be it because, obviously I did slow down several times as I passed through the intersections leading to our home.

Here’s the catch. For him, never means didn’t.

It’s not an obscure meaning, and most people around here understand both. But in this situation, his rendition of never became confusing. And that’s the way dialect often works. One person calls the breading mix you eat with turkey dressing. Another calls it stuffing. And the list goes on.

It behooves us to delve into the particular nuances of the area about which we’re writing. When my World War II scenes take place in rural Iowa where I spent my childhood, this conundrum can emerge.

For example, I know what farmers mean when they say, “separate hogs.”

But that phrase brought a question from my editor at one point. I explained that most folks in northern Iowa farm country know that separating hogs means to weed out the smaller ones from the larger, usually for the purpose of vaccinating or preparing for market.

But my editor had never heard of this process. It’s one of those phrases I needed to consider a bit closer, since some of my readers might not recognize the wording, either. In the end, we left it in, partly because the story takes place during World War II, so the reader expects dialect to have changed since then.

I’m glad for this morning’s reminder about dialect. I’m even happier that it came without an expensive driving ticket.

Pearl Harbor attacked! The United States is at war. But Addie fights her own battles on the Iowa home front. Her controlling husband Harold vents his rage on her when his father's stroke prevents him from joining the military. He degrades Addie, ridicules her productive victory garden, and even labels her childlessness as God's punishment. When he manipulates his way into a military unit bound for Normandy, Addie learns that her best friend Kate's pilot husband has died on a mission, leaving her stranded in London in desperate straits. Will Addie be able to help Kate, and find courage to trust God with her future?

Late blooming women's fiction author Gail Kittleson writes mostly WWII stories of overcoming fear and finding one's voice. She and her husband enjoy family in northern Iowa and the Arizona Ponderosa pine forest in winter. Gail taught college expository writing and facilitates memoir writing and fiction workshops.

Reduce Wordiness: 7 Trouble Spots to Avoid (Angela D. Meyer)

(A Writing Tips post)

by Angela D. Meyer

Wordiness stalls your reader at best and loses them completely at worst.

When you’re editing and you come across a section that sounds wordy or you’re over word count and can’t figure out where to cut, here are 7 trouble spots to avoid to ensure your writing is clear and as concise as your story needs to be. (edited from 46 words to 27 words.)

Redundancy. When you edit, look for these spots where you repeat the same idea with different verbiage, then choose the best way you worded it and delete the others.

Passive construction. Passive construction adds words to your writing and can be cumbersome. It has its place, but use it carefully and with intent.

For example:

Passive: The boy was bitten by a mosquito. The bite made the boys skin itch. (14 words)

Active: A mosquito bit the boy. His skin itched. (8 words)

Since passive construction is where the action is done to the subject, a search-and-find of the word “by” in your manuscript may help you spot passive construction. Decide if the passive construction serves a specific purpose or effect in your story. If not, then make it active.

Repetitiveness: I find at least one word in each story that communicates an idea so well I use it repeatedly. I also have a group of more common words that I tend to overdo and have to catch in the editing stage. Using the same word multiple times indicates I may be getting lazy in my writing and allowing wordiness to creep in.

A quick search-and-find helps locate these pesky terms. I watch especially for clusters which make them stand out. For story specific words, I choose a different word or cut it out entirely. For the common words that I see across all my stories, I may have to change up the construction of the sentence.

A few common overdone words include: that, very, so, can and just. Much of the time deleting these words does the trick. Read the following sentence and see the difference taking out a few words can make.

I heard that he was going to college and I am so very thankful that he is just so willing to lead the way. (24 words vs. 18 words)

Telling your readers what you’re going to do instead of doing it.

I could have gone to the store. Vs. I went to the store.

I am thinking about getting a new maid. VS I will hire a new maid.

I am going to go the store. Vs. I will go to the store.

Overuse of “-ing” words. “-ing” words can be vague about who or what they modify and often indicate weak verbs.

Make sure your subject is clear.

Vague: Mary hurried away from the store leaving her cart full of groceries. (Did the store leave her cart or did Mary?)

Clear: Leaving her cart full of groceries, Mary hurried away from the store.

Make sure you are using strong verbs.

Weak: Working at the store is a great job.

Strong: I enjoy working at the store.

Overuse of -ly words. Instead of “walked lazily” use “shuffled.” The occasional adverb can add color, but when there is an overabundance, it alerts you to possible weak verbs.

Super long sentence: It helps the rhythm of your story to vary the lengths of the sentences, but a too-long sentence can make a reader feel like they can’t catch their breath. It also slows the pace of your story. Unless you’re are using a long sentence for effect, generally, 20-25 words is a good length. In addition to checking the trouble spots already mentioned, check punctuation for run-on sentences. If not a run-on, break it up into more than one sentence. 

This is not an all-inclusive list of trouble spots to avoid on the way to clear and concise writing. Do you have a pitfall you have to watch out for?

Angela D. Meyer, author of The Applewood Hill Series, lives in NE with her husband of 25 years and their high school daughter. Their son serves our country in the Marines. Angela enjoys hanging out with her family, reading, connecting with friends and encouraging women to grow in their faith. One of her dream spots to vacation is next to the ocean and someday she wants to ride in a hot air balloon.

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WHERE HEALING STARTS

Joanna, full of bitterness over the past, can no longer ignore the growing storm inside her and is bent on self-destruction as she seeks to ease her pain. But the refuge she seeks is always out of her reach.

Her brother Blake must choose between what has always been safe and what he has always wanted. One mistake after another leads him down a dangerous path.

The one for all, all for one sibling bond can’t help them now. They are both determined to hang onto their anger, never forgetting. Never forgiving. They see no reason to trust God.

After so many years of turmoil, will the Hannigan siblings find refuge in the God who loves them? Or will they get lost along the way?

Writing Tips: June Foster

June Foster, Author

As an English student in college and later an ESL teacher, I thought I had a handle on the use of the written word. Grammar, check. Sentence structure, no problem. Vocabulary, always improving. But writing fiction? I knew nothing about the "rules." I've learned a lot in the six years I've been writing inspirational fiction. I'd love to share. Shh, don't tell, but these are my weaknesses I still struggle with on occasion.

Since I'm a female, I've had to learn how men think in order to write from my hero's point of view. Most men are happy to tell you how they'd react given a certain situation. My husband is a great help. I asked him to envision that he and his girlfriend had an argument and broke up. (Before he married me, of course!) How would he react or what would he do? He said he'd go to the gym and work out or get angry. Totally opposite of the way I'd respond—having a good cry. Another step I took was to go online and read articles on the subject then apply these ways of thinking to my hero's struggles. For example, I learned that men think behind every conversation is a problem to solve. Women see it as an opportunity to share feelings. A woman might notice the color of a man's shirt, but a man will notice how tight a woman's skirt fits. Women stand in close proximity and maintain eye contact while communicating where men hold their distance and rarely establish eye contact. These are only a fraction of the differences.

Delivering the action in a story. When I first started writing, I thought I had to describe every move my characters made. Ryan held the car door open for Sandy. After she swung her legs into the front passenger seat, he closed the door and ambled around the front of the car to the other side. Opening the driver's door, he sat down in the seat and pulled his keys out of his pocket. The car key fit perfectly into the ignition and when he turned it, the motor rumbled to a start. You get the idea. My wonderful critique partners pointed out that the reader can and does "fill in the blanks" for the action you leave out. Describing every detail makes for tedious reading and a distraction for your reader.

Since I was an elementary teacher for many years, I find the need to explain and explain again. I have a tendency to infer something and in the next paragraph reiterate the same thing only in different words. I've learned to give the reader credit to "get it" the first time.

Villains. Sometimes I see life as either all black or all white. I tend to create bad guys with no redeeming qualities. The reader doesn't want to read about a character who's completely evil. And in real life, everyone has both negative and positive traits. So I've figured out how to make my villains somewhat likeable even though most of the time they misbehave.

Lastly I like to give my polished chapters a final check-up. I look for: 1. content. Does every paragraph move the story forward? 2. Is sentence structure varied and are action beats used wisely? 3. Do a find/replace and check for pet words such as that, just, still, back, and an over abundance of pronouns. 4. Run a spelling/grammar check, and 5. Read final chapters aloud. You'd be amazed at the flaws you'll find.

And most important, have your story proofread by a good freelance editor and frequently read the work of established authors.


About What God Knew:

Neonatal specialist Dr. Michael Clark is passionate about saving the lives of premature babies. But the pediatrics department at El Camino General can't provide the care many of his preemies require. Now he wants to build a specialty hospital where he can better care for his young patients.

Tammy Crawford is an accomplished geriatrics RN who wants nothing to do with her sister Joella's religious beliefs. She's independent and doesn't need anyone, including God in pursuing a new job as a nurse practitioner.
When she falls in love with the intriguing Michael Clark, she must reconsider her resolve to devote herself completely to her career and not be distracted by a romantic relationship. Now the obstacles are insurmountable. She's in love with a man from another culture and a different race.

Michael acknowledges his growing affection for the beautiful nurse yet can't ignore his brother's deep racial prejudices.

Can two people who are as different as night and day find a life together?


About June Foster:

An award-winning author, June Foster's novels include Give Us This Day, As We Forgive, Deliver Us, Hometown Fourth of July, Ryan's Father, Red and the Wolf, For All Eternity, Echoes From the Past, What God Knew and Misty Hollow. Find June online at http://junefoster.com.

Writing Tips: Ane Mulligan

 

Did y’all know that Delia developed my logo for me? She did. And I love it. She caught the essence of my Southern-fried Fiction brand. So, when she told me my topic was writing tips, I thought, “Cool. I love to pass on tips I’ve learned from other writers.”

And that’s true. I don’t have many of my own, though. Other authors, who have mentored me and taught workshops, have instilled them all in me. I’m merely paying them forward, hoping it

takes you less time than it did me to grab the brass pen and sign a contract.
Here are five that stand out to me and have made a big difference for me:

1. Story is king. Learn the basics of good writing and then trust your instincts as a storyteller. Learn when to break the rules, and then do it with panache.

2. Coincidence can’t replace Motivation. Motivation is the key to great characters and plots. Readers will follow a character through anything if the motivation is believable.

3. Give your characters a lie they believe, flaws and quirks to make them real. People can’t relate to someone who is good all the time. They want to see characters that make mistakes like they do. Who mess up in life like they do. Characters they can relate to.

4. Make metaphors and similes fresh and turn clichés on their ear. The opening lines to my latest WIP, Life in Chapel Springs, are: The morning fog was about as thick as the pea soup Great-aunt Lola used to make. Claire hated that soup then and she didn’t much like this fog now. That’s making an old cliché fresh. Instead of saying a “Cheshire cat grin” I used “She grinned like Garfield with a pan of lasagna.”

5. This one was taught to me by the late Ron Benrey. I keep it posted nearby lest I forget. It’s called The Magic Paragraph and goes like this:

• Signal which head to enter

• Twang an appropriate sense, emotion or mental faculty

• Show appropriate action

• Repeat if necessary

Home to Chapel Springs:

A homeless author, a heartbroken daughter, and a theatre ghost. There’s trouble in Chapel Springs.

There’s always someone new in Chapel Spring, either coming home or stirring up trouble.

Bestselling author Carin Jardine’s latest book is a flop. While the reviewers are happily skewering her, her racecar-driver-husband walks out on her and she’s evicted, because he hasn’t paid the lease on their condo for the last three months. Then she discovers he also he drained their bank accounts. Homeless and broke, she and her little boy have no choice but to retreat to the house she inherited from her nana in Chapel Springs—the house that’s been gutted. Then, a stranger knocks on her door. One that will change the course of her life.

After the residents thwarted Howie Newlander’s plans for a Miami-style resort on Chapel Lake, he’s running for mayor and spreading rumors about diverted water and misused taxes. The Lakeside Players want to remodel the town’s old theater, but it’s rumored to be haunted. When Newlander and Mayor Riley go head-to-head, Claire gets caught in the middle.

Claire’s youngest daughter is in love with a young man whose daddy is none other than Mayor Felix Riley…the man who blames Claire for every wrong in Chapel Springs. Having him part of her family isn’t in Claire’s plan. The years of her heartache should warn her daughter off this boy. So far, her daughter’s heart isn’t hearing the warnings.

With hearts pulled in all directions, will they find a home in Chapel Springs?

About Ane Mulligan:

While a floppy straw hat is her favorite, novelist Ane Mulligan has worn many including pro-family lobbyist, drama director, playwright, humor columnist, and novelist. She firmly believes coffee and chocolate are two of the four major food groups. Ane writes her Southern-fried fiction in Sugar Hill, GA, where she resides with her artist husband, chef son, and a dog of Biblical proportion. You can find Ane on her Southern-fried Fiction website, her Amazon author page, Google+, Facebook, Goodreads, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Self-Imposed Deadlines (Leeann Betts)

(A Writing Tips Post)

There is something intimidating about deadlines. When you first sign that contract or make that agreement to have your book in your publisher’s hands six months from now, that seems like a long time. Sure, you can take a week off and celebrate. And another week to do some research. Then one of the kids gets the mumps. And another.

And before you know it, it’s April 2nd and your book is due April 25th.
 
What do you do? Panic!

But what about if you’re not under an official contract? You don’t have a publisher breathing down your neck, waiting for your book. You have all the time in the world, right?

No. You don’t.

If you are a writer, then you must write. And if you’re a writer, you must be writing for someone other than yourself. At the very least, as a Christian writer, you are writing for God. And even if He is the only One who ever sees what you’re writing, He has an expectation that at some point, you’ll be ready to move on to the next project.

Failing to set a finish date sets you up to fail.

So even if you’re not under someone else’s deadline, you should be under one of your own.
How can you stick to that date?

• Make up some business cards with the cover on it and the release date.
• Tell other people.
• Spread the news on social media.
• Write it on a calendar in ink.
• Keep a picture of the cover in front of you with the release date written on it.
• Schedule time to accomplish the work by the date you say.

 
What happens when life gets in the way?

You might need to put aside something else in your life so you can meet your personal deadline. That’s right.

• Get up 30 minutes earlier.
• Go to bed 30 minutes later.
• Skip your lunch hour and write.
• Skip television one or two or three nights a week.
• Take your laptop when you go to an appointment and work while you’re waiting.
• Tell your family what your goal is, and ask them to help you meet that goal

 
Self-Imposed deadlines might not be about finishing a book. Maybe you’ve spent way too much time on research but you can’t tear yourself away. So set a deadline. Two more days and then you’re done. You might be pleasantly surprised at how much you get done in the next two days.

Maybe you’re spending too much time re-writing. Face it—ten years is too long. One year is probably too long. Repeat after me: It will never be perfect.

And that’s because you are learning as you go. You will continue to learn. You want to put out the best product possible, but not getting the book done isn’t going to help anybody. Let it go. Or pay someone else to re-write for you.

What kinds of deadlines do you give yourself?
 

Leeann Betts writes contemporary suspense, while her real-life persona, Donna Schlachter, pens historical suspense. No Accounting for Murder and There Was a Crooked Man, books 1 and 2 in her By the Numbers series, released in the fall of 2015 Book 3,Unbalanced, released in January. Book 4, Five and Twenty Blackbirds, is due in April, with more planned for later dates. If you like accountants or are an accountant, check out Counting the Days: a 31-day devotional for accountants, bookkeepers, and financial folk. Leeann and Donna have penned a book on writing,Nuggets of Writing Gold, and Donna has published a book of short stories, Second Chances and Second Cups. You can follow Leeann atwww.AllBettsAreOff.wordpress.com and Donna atwww.HiStoryThruTheAges.wordpress.com. All books are available at Amazon.com in digital and print, and at Smashwords.com in digital.