How Can I Get Up From Here?
I imagine there are many people who feel like Kasia
Bernolak has—caught somewhere between pretending to be doing well and sitting
in a corner crying. Alone.
The heroine of my book, Strains of Silence, says it’s the worst at church, when she ought
to be an encouragement to others, but she’s running on empty. Add to that the
pressure to be strong, to be a pastor’s daughter, or a missionary—it becomes
hard to say “I’m not okay.”
And even if her mouth would willingly form the
words, people don’t hear what she means.
Her “I’m struggling today” gets a response like she’d just said she has the
sniffles.
“Yeah, that’s going around.”
Once, she said she felt depressed, and a woman
told her to focus on what was true and noble and right. [That’s not always wrong advice, but sometimes,
things are happening to a person’s mind and body that make it impossible for
them to think of anything except surviving. Or dying.]
The thing is, since believers are supposed to be
ready to give an answer for the hope that we have, we get uncomfortable when
one of us says they feel hopeless.
Hear me.
First, if someone shows up and speaks honestly
about struggles and pain and suffering, let’s not blow it off the table like so
much dust. Let’s listen. Let’s take it in quietly, even take a moment to pray
before we respond. And let’s let our first words be something along the lines
of weeping with those who weep. And let’s be deeply thankful that they’ve managed
to get themselves motivated enough to be around others, to speak the words that
are so hard to say.
It’s so much easier to hide.
Now, for you hurting people.
Find one quiet listener. (I am one, if you live
near me.)
And
speak.
The.
Words.
Whisper them if you have to. Share the burden your
soul carries. Share it with Jesus, and share it with someone who can be His
arms and hands and feet in this world. Who can stand beside you and hug you.
But break the silence. The church is full of imperfect, hurting people. And
it’s okay to be real about that.
“Bear
one another’s burdens…” Galatians 6:2.
About Bethany's Book:
He
can’t save her from her past, but he can wait to be her future.
Alexander “Zan” Maddox has seen
what a domineering man can do to an unsuspecting woman, and Zan is sick of
injustice. He gave up a college baseball scholarship so he could protect his
sister from her abusive husband. When he rescues Kasia from her ex-fiancé, he
instinctively appoints himself her personal bodyguard. Now, all he has to do is
keep from falling for her himself.
Kasia and Zan become fast
friends, but true healing and justice might cost more than either of them is
willing to pay.
About Bethany:
Bethany Kaczmarek loves to share her
own journey of healing and redemption with anyone who needs it. Back from the
Polish mission field where she and her husband worked with college students for
six years, their home is often filled with twenty-somethings who come over for
a listening ear (though she’s willing to admit it could also be for the board
games and food). Other job titles: Wielder of Red Pens, Grammar Ninja, Wiper of
Tears and Milk, Indie Music Connoisseur, and Friend. Bethany writes about
places where grit meets Grace. Find out more about her at www.bethanykaczmarek.com
